WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS?
Buried inside our actions are the intentions behind each one. And intentions have a way of surfacing.
Think about it like a seed. On the outside, it is covered by a hard outer layer. But that layer was never meant to stay intact forever. It must rupture for the plant inside to grow. And when it does, whatever is inside pushes through. Our words and actions work the same way. They are the outer layer. Underneath them, driving them, giving them their ultimate shape and direction, are our deepest intentions. And no matter how polished the surface, the intention will always push through. It will grow and bear fruits. It is only a matter of time.
This is why you can sometimes sense, without being able to fully explain it, that something is off with a person. They say all the right things. They do all the right things. But something in you registers a disconnect. What you are detecting is the gap between the outer layer and the intentions underneath it.
I have seen this play out many times. When someone builds a company primarily to be seen and admired, they may well attract admiration. But the business never quite thrives. When someone enters a marriage to satisfy what society expects of them, they may earn the respect they were seeking. But the marriage they actually wanted remains out of reach. We get what we are truly after, not always what we say we are after. And the two are not always the same thing.
I know this because I lived it.
Years ago, I had the privilege of being mentored by Rowland Gee, former CEO of Hugo Boss, among other remarkable things. He gave his time and his wisdom generously, and I was genuinely grateful. But months passed, and there was no growth. And I knew, in the way you know things you would rather not face, that the problem was not him. So I sat with myself and asked an honest question. Why am I not growing?
The answer, when it came, was uncomfortable. Every time we met, I felt small. Insignificant. Out of my depth. And so, I had been skewing our conversations. Steering them towards what was going well. Presenting the highlights. What I told myself was mentorship was, in truth, something else entirely. My real intention in those sessions was to be reassured. To feel capable. To have someone I respected tell me I was doing well. And that is exactly what I received. Praise. Encouragement. Validation to keep doing what I was already doing. I was getting the fruit of my true intention, not the fruit of the intention I thought I had brought into the room.
The turning point came when I made the painful decision to peel back the layers. To stop performing and start being honest, with myself first, and then in those sessions. I changed my intention. I stopped going to be celebrated and started going to be challenged. Soon enough, the results became evident.
I share this because it is easy to work hard, show up consistently, and still find yourself wondering why you are not arriving at the destination you are working towards. Sometimes the answer is not strategy or timing or resources. Sometimes the answer is intention. The most courageous thing you can do sometimes is sit quietly with yourself and ask the question you have been avoiding. What is my heart truly after here?
If you do not stop to check your heart for its true intention, you may keep working, keep showing up, keep doing all the right things on the surface, and still never arrive at the goal you so desperately want to reach. The seed determines the harvest, always. Our intention is what creates the life we have.
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